End The Inner War First



If we want to get to the root of discord, we must start with ourselves. If the discord from outside has the power of disturbing us very much this might be a mirror of our inside. Finding fault with others who are supposedly so much worse than we are, is an easier step than acting with yourself.


It is important to address grievances and to act against the inhumane and horrible behavior of others, without question. However, the best and most sustainable way is always to start with oneself and thereby bring about change into the world. A moral club makes no sense here - as, in fact, it never does. Compassion towards the war that often takes place within us is the more appropriate as well as the more gainful way.


Often the fight against our body and mind rages with enormous violence and destructiveness inside ourselves. Emotions are human, however, but there is ongoingly internal pain, anger, frustration, and the nagging of not-being-good-enough it will compromise our state of mind and subsequently how we are in the world. At some point, the inner mental barrel comes to overflow and turns to the outside. This can look different for different people. Clear is that if pressure is not relieved and becomes too high, we lose control in a toxic way. To stay healthy and somewhat in balance, the pressure has to find an outlet. This can happen in many different ways. A toxic expression is transferring pressure to others. This manifests in active and passive aggression and the execution of power and control. War is declared on everything that does not cooperate. This begins with the own body and ends with other beings and whole nations. It can be light, but no less destructive, up to enormous proportions.


Where does this come from and how does it go away.


The magic remedy against it is compassion towards yourself, for other people, and from other people: To be able to hold and love ourselves as human beings in our imperfections. Being completely over it and always wanting to control more, both yourself and others is a dead end. Instead, pausing in a non-reactive presence will bring us more and more home to ourselves. This is something you can exercise and experience in a steady yoga and mindfulness practice. Both help with the pausing and create an open heart that does not need defending, fighting, and controlling but rather is ready and open for anything life brings: The supreme discipline is to be with the waves of life in an effortless way in the midst of the stormy ocean.


The ultimate goal and the crowning glory of this are, that it creates and reveals the You you really want to be. Because, who wants to spend precious time on earth with reactiveness, control, power demonstration, and fighting? Once you wake up and see consciously where you still fight and how much potential of letting go there still is you never will want to go back. By the way, even your yoga practice can be violently executed when you are fighting against your body and your mind. So, go be compassionate, do you, and (hopefully) surrender in peace.


My suggestions for working with your inner pressure for gradually changing and releasing it:

  • Become conscious and reflect on your behavior and inner dialog. Be quiet and watch in a non-reactive presence – no judging! Possibly with a concentration or meditation technique.

  • Reflect on how you want to be – please, without creating more pressure.

  • Attitude work: Don't look at what you don't like. Find what you are grateful for in yourself, others, and the world, and brainstorm how you can grow it.

  • Connect with others and trust again and again in their goodness.

  • Help and support others – humans, animals, nature. Start small.

  • Get moving and into your body e.g. with yoga asanas, dancing, and breathing techniques.

  • Regularly practice and teach yourself that you are “good enough” at every stage.

  • Learn how to rest. Let go of old beliefs in order for a new sense of connectedness with all there is.